{"id":9,"date":"2015-04-12T04:31:28","date_gmt":"2015-04-12T04:31:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/badhipster.com\/start\/?p=9"},"modified":"2015-04-12T22:54:02","modified_gmt":"2015-04-13T02:54:02","slug":"beyoncerage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/badhipster.com\/start\/2015\/04\/beyoncerage\/","title":{"rendered":"Beyonc\u00e9rage"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Beyonc\u00e9 is killing the youth of the world and sending at-risk minority groups into a downward spiral of death, doom, and destruction. I am referring of course to a newly identified phenomena of Beyonc\u00e9 indulgence: Beyonc\u00e9rage. Say this out loud and it may even have an almost calming, peaceful, yet foreign tone to it. As comforting as the noises the verbalization of the word might produce, Beyonc\u00e9rage is a dangerous, terminal disease that appears to transcend socioeconomical, political, racial, and sexual identity barriers.<\/p>\n<p>First discovered in the Brooklyn neighborhood of Kensington, at the corner of Cortelyou Rd and 5th St, Beyonc\u00e9rage has quickly infected the world in a pandemic of unseen consequences.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_10\" style=\"width: 710px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/badhipster.com\/start\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/beyonc-in-run-the-world-girls-music-video-beyonce-31781496-700-296.gif\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-10\" class=\"wp-image-10 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/badhipster.com\/start\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/beyonc-in-run-the-world-girls-music-video-beyonce-31781496-700-296.gif?resize=700%2C296\" alt=\"Beyoncerage\" width=\"700\" height=\"296\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-10\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Late stage presentation of disease.<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Symptoms may include:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Heavy breathing<\/li>\n<li>Wild dancing<\/li>\n<li>Coughing<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div id=\"attachment_27\" style=\"width: 649px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/badhipster.com\/start\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/giphy.gif\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-27\" class=\"wp-image-27 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/badhipster.com\/start\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/giphy.gif?resize=639%2C270\" alt=\"Terminal Beyonce Statue\" width=\"639\" height=\"270\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-27\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Dyskinesia presentation of late-stage Beyonc\u00e9rage.<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Other complications of Beyonc\u00e9rage are known to include contagious nausea, insomnia, delusional ideologies on concepts of feminism, dementia, and lack of self worth. Pelvic seizures have also been seen in late-stage cases of Beyonc\u00e9rage that, if uncontrolled and untreated, will lead to irreversible frothing at the mouth, dyskinesia, and aphasia. Other signs of late-stage illness include an uncontrollable affinity towards Illuminati hand symbols.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_12\" style=\"width: 640px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/badhipster.com\/start\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/pyramid-4-630x379.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-12\" class=\"wp-image-12 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/badhipster.com\/start\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/pyramid-4-630x379.png?resize=630%2C379\" alt=\"Illuminati\" width=\"630\" height=\"379\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/badhipster.com\/start\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/pyramid-4-630x379.png?resize=630%2C379 630w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/badhipster.com\/start\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/pyramid-4-630x379.png?resize=300%2C180 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/badhipster.com\/start\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/pyramid-4-630x379.png?resize=100%2C60 100w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 630px) 100vw, 630px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-12\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Irreplaceable Illuminati tendencies have been noted.<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Beyonc\u00e9rage sufferers are advised to immediately drop the alcohol, present to the closest poison control center, and move to the left. To the left.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Beyonc\u00e9 is killing the youth of the world and sending at-risk minority groups into a downward spiral of death, doom, and destruction. I am referring of course to a newly identified phenomena of Beyonc\u00e9 indulgence: Beyonc\u00e9rage. Say this out loud and it may even have an almost calming, peaceful, yet foreign tone to it. As comforting as the noises the &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":11,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[10],"tags":[5,2,3,4],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/badhipster.com\/start\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/beyonce_queen_3.jpg?fit=700%2C824","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62RDO-9","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/badhipster.com\/start\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/badhipster.com\/start\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/badhipster.com\/start\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/badhipster.com\/start\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/badhipster.com\/start\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/badhipster.com\/start\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":45,"href":"http:\/\/badhipster.com\/start\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9\/revisions\/45"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/badhipster.com\/start\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/badhipster.com\/start\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/badhipster.com\/start\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/badhipster.com\/start\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}